The Kodak Moments of Two Demonic Fangirls
by ofShadow
Summary: Valen, Yami, Seto, and Otogi are stuck with two crazed fangirls as they suffer through and are tortured by a very random road trip. VERY FUNNY! (Mild Yaio.) (Rated T for language.)


Disclaimer: (Goes for all following chapters.) Guess what? I'm not one of those rich tyrants who own Yu-Gi-Oh!

You are advised not to read this if you are a fan of Tea or Serenity.

This was really fun forme and my friendto write, so we don't mind if some people dislike it. I've read this to a lot of people, though, and they thought it was really hilarious! I do hope that you enjoy this fic as well!

R&R to have one of your own stories reviewed!

Chapter 1: Road Trip

Once upon a time, in the land of Yu-Gi-Oh, a strange little person was walking alone through a canyon in the desert. Actually, the person was not little; she was average height. But, my deranged mind forced me to write "little". You shall find, throughout this story, that my deranged mind will do a lot of strange things! You have been warned.

Now, back to the canyon…

The person walked for a few minutes, then heard a demonic sound, "Fear the evil pharaoh!"

Though the crap had been scared out of the little person, she answered back, "Ok! I fear you."

After being answered accordingly, the demonic voice appeared as a demonic girl dressed as Yami yugi.

"Oh, hey Jackie." the non-demonic girl said to the Yami impostor, recognizing her friend.

"Who the hell is Jackie?" roared the demonic impostor, "I am the pharaoh! NOW BOW!" The other girl just stared blankly at the demonic idiot in front of her.

"Argh…fine…." sighed the Yami impostor, taking off her porcupine-ish wig. "So, what are you doing in this canyon?"

"I dunno." answered the other girl, Ashley, indifferently.

"Well, how'd you get here?"

"I sort of just kind of maybe…….appeared. You know?"

"No. I don't know."

"Stupid pharaoh…" she muttered.

The two pointlessly stood there for a while, admiring rock formations and listening to the wind blowing across the desolate desert. Then…

"Hey, do you hear that?" Ashley asked.

"Hear what?"

"That?"

"What's that?"

"I don't know! I can't see it, you idiot!"

"You just said you could hear it!"

"Hearing isn't seeing, dummy!"

"Hmph!"

Suddenly, an ugly, old blue convertible pulled up. The passengers were Otogi, the _real_ Yami, Seto, Valen, and two evil girls called Serenity and Tea.

"Oh, hello." said Ashley and Jackie in unison. They couldn't make out the passengers yet, just how ugly the car was.

"Do you know where the nearest gas station is?" asked the driver, Otogi.

"Well…" replied Ashley slyly, patting her friend on the back, "My good friend Jackie here packs a real punch after 50 cans of beans!"

"WTF? I don't even like beans!"

"Uhh…" began Otogi again, confused, "gas for my car."

"OoOh." Ashley replied.

"Yeah you idiot!" screamed the former Yami impostor, "Car gas, not bean gas!"

While the two continued arguing, Valen voiced his opinions, saying, "Those two mates are definitely high on something…"

Jackie immediately realized who spoke, and put on her Australian accent, "I'm only on a sugar high!"

"Hey! That's my accent!"

"You should be flattered to have someone mimic you!" Jackie yelled in her defense. "Seeing how ungrateful you are to have your BIGGEST fan mimic you, I'll just go back to my Yami impersonation!"

"No! Please!" shouted Yami, leaping up in the car, then landing in Seto's lap.

By the power of my deranged mind, Jackie, a _huge_ Seto/Yami Yaio fan, pulled out her camera and began taking snapshots.

"I wouldn't exactly call this a Kodak moment…" Ashley said, watching the camera chaos unfold.

"Are you kidding?" Jackie exclaimed, "THIS IS GREAT!"

"Wait a second…" Ashley said, squinting. "OTOGI!" She then shouted happily when she recognized the driver. "Jackie, give me that thing!" So now, the other crazed fan girl began taking pictures of her favorite bishi.

"Hey, that's mine!" Jackie shouted, snatching her precious camera back before continuing her paparazzi-ish duties.

"Hey!" Seto shouted, "No flash photography!" Angered, the 6 foot plus bishonen tackled Jackie, the 5 foot fan girl. Yami soon came running after him, grabbing Seto to try and pull him off.

"Quick, Ashley!" Jackie said while being strangled, "Get a shot of Yami and Seto!" With another of my deranged mind tricks, another camera appeared. Ashley obediently took pictures for her demonic friend, shouting, "ALL RIGHT! Seto butt!"

During the chaos, Otogi and Valen were sitting on top of the car hood eating popcorn and enjoying themselves. When suddenly, two evil voices shouted, "What's going on out there?" Tea and Serenity then clambered out of the trunk to see what was going on.

By the power of Ra, and my mind which is deranged, Yami was able to muster his strength and fling Seto off of the near-dead fan girl. As Seto flew through the air, everyone held up perfect ten score cards for Yami's impressive, er, fling action. Everyone, that is, except Tea, who only held up a nine point nine. Poor Tea. If only she had learned to never piss off the Pharaoh.

"Mind crush!" he shouted, killing Tea. Just then, Seto came crashing down on Serenity, who also died. Eh, they had it coming, what with me being so evil and all.

After celebrating the death of the two evil ones, everyone still alive grabbed a shovel and buried the dead bodies in the sand, making sure the scene didn't look like a murder.

Then, Ashley suddenly shouted, "I really need to go to the bathroom!"

"You what?" Jackie exclaimed, staring in disbelief at her friend as she threw her shovel away.

"All this dry desertness stuff has made me really need to go!"

Suddenly, a great booming voice shouted, "This is a great time for me to introduce you to the co-authoress of this story!"

"NO IT'S NOT!" Ashley shouted, "THIS IS A GREAT TIME FOR ME TO GO TO THE BATHROOM!"

"Sheesh, you didn't have to use all caps on me." I, the authoress, replied. Then, my derangified mind created a gas station - a whole mile away. Helpful, aren't I?

"Look!" Jackie shouted, "A gas station!"

"Was that even there before?" Valen asked, pondering.

"Who cares? Let's just go!" Ashley said impatiently.

"Yes, let's," Seto agreed angrily, "she's starting to give me a really bad headache…"

Otogi was able to drive his car halfway to the gas station before it finally ran empty. "All right!" he shouted, "Everybody, get out and push!"

"Sorry, Otogi," Ashley said hurriedly, "But if I'm even gonna have a prayer of making it, I need to leave now!"

"Can't you go behind a cactus or something?" Otogi asked.

Ashley glared at the bishi, then took off running to the restroom while everyone else got behind the ugly car to push.

"Wooh! I feel relieved…" Ashley said as she stepped out of the dirty gas station, only to find Otogi's car parked right outside.

"I guess you don't need help moving the car anymore!" she said innocently, walking over to the angry people.

"Where the hell have you been?" Jackie asked.

"We were about to send in some Ex-Lax for you." Valen teased.

"I didn't need Ex-Lax!" Ashley shouted back, "I was held up by a mob of truckers!"

"Truckers who left five minutes ago…" Seto replied.

"I was also busy buying provisions!" she said happily, holding up bags of drinks and junk food.

"You're forgiven!" everyone said, practically stampeding the girl for the snacks.

After everyone had had a snack, they put the rest of the provisions in one of the back seats.

"Guys," Yami said after everything had been loaded, "I don't think there'll be enough room."

Then, a great big booming voice came from the sky, "I am the co-authoress! Fear me!"

"Who was that?" Valen asked.

"I think it's the co-authoress." Jackie replied, stating the obvious.

"On behalf of the head author," the booming voice began again, "Four people must double up in the car."

"NOT IT!" Otogi and Ashley screamed immediately, so as not to have to double up in a seat.

"Good." said the booming voice, "So that leaves us with Seto, Jackie, Yami, and Valen. Naturally, Seto and Yami will sit together,"

"WHAT?" the two screamed.

"And Jackie, you can sit with Valen!"

"Yay!" the crazed fan girl shouted, squeezing Valen.

"Aww, cripes…" he muttered.

So, Ashley and Otogi sat in the two seats up front, then in the back, Yami had to sit in Seto's lap and Valen had to sit in Jackie's (since he's a lot shorter than her).

Before they got on the road again, the big booming voice spoke one last time, saying, "The head authoress hopes that you are all pleased and that Yami and Seto have been placed in an uncomfortable situation. Bye!"

"I at least agree with the latter…" Seto muttered angrily after the voice had gone away.

After driving for a while without anyone saying anything, Ashley began to get bored. She slowly and quietly took out her camera, then turned around and screamed, "CHEESE!"

"ARGH!" Valen shouted, throwing his arms in front of his face to shield him from the flash.

"WTF!" Seto said, doing the same.

Ashley and Otogi just continued laughing their heads off.

"Give me that!" Yami growled, snatching the camera away.

"Hey! That has my Otogi pictures in it!" Ashley whined after her camera was stolen.

"Yami, give the camera back." Otogi said, annoyed.

"I'm not giving back her blackmail!"

"That's ok," Ashley said, "Jackie has plenty enough pictures of you and Seto!"

"Damn cameras…" Yami growled, throwing the camera back.

After another period of silence, Jackie spoke up. "Where are we going?"

"Really," Ashley added, "Jackie and I don't even know where you guys were headed in the first place."

"We _were _going on vacation…" Valen answered.

"With Tea and Serenity?" the two girls exclaimed.

"No, we were going to ditch them on the way."

"Oh." they sighed, relieved.

"Where are we going now?" Ashley asked.

"We could still go on vacation." Otogi answered.

"That's a stupid idea…" Seto replied.

"What do you mean?"

"We've got two authors desperate to get me and Yami together, and you want to go on vacation?"

"Awww, come on, they're not gonna make you guys do anything!"

"Aren't you intelligent…" Yami replied.

"Hey!" Ashley interrupted, "I think Jackie and I should choose where we're going."

"Aren't we forgetting whose car this is?" Otogi asked.

"By the way," Jackie added, "Your car is ugly!"

There was a loud screeching noise as an angry Otogi slammed on the brake.

"AT LEAST I _HAVE_ A FUCKING CAR!" Otogi screamed as everyone else recovered from the jolted sudden stop.

"You see," Ashley said, "this is why we need to go on vacation!" No one else said anything: they were too scared of the driver's wrath.

"And you," Ashley continued, pointing at Otogi, "Quit glaring! You're scaring people…"

"So, are we going on vacation or not?" Yami asked timidly.

"Sure." Otogi answered, still sounding enraged.

"Sorry I said that your car is ugly…" Jackie apologized, hiding behind Valen. Otogi just grunted in reply.

"What a fun road trip this is gonna be…." Seto said sarcastically.

Thank you for reading! I really appreciate it. Hope you enjoyed! (Chapter 2 nearly complete!)


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